Best Divorce Letter


I found this article and thought it was worth sharing I guess. Hehehe.

Best Divorce Letter

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P/S: Don’t try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

_______________________________________________________

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free.

P/S: I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

Have a blessed Jumaat, all!

Cak!


Tadaaaaaaaaaa.
Hello semua. Rindu kat saya tak?

Hello. Knock.. knock..

Oiii, orang tanya ni. Rindu ke tak?

Ah, sudahlah. Senyap je takde jawapan. Tak rindu la tu. Tahun depan je la update.
Bye!

Innalillah


11:30 pm
17 Mei 2011

Innalillahiwainnailaihirojiun.
Al-Fatihah untuk Tok Wan, Jaafar Bin Mahyuddin.

Ya Allah, tempatkanlah Tok Wan dikalangan orang-orang yg beriman.
Amin.

To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return.
(Surah Al Baqarah 2:156)

Buat Bodoh


2.29 petang.

Me: Bosanlah. Tak tahu nak buat ape.
Adik: Pergilah update blog.
Me: Oh ya kan. Update blog lah. Lama dah tak update.

2.45 petang.

Adik: Dah update ke blognya?
Me: Belum. Tak tahu nak update pasal ape.
Adik: Alaaa, dulu boleh je. Ada je benda nak update. Sekarang pulak tak tahu nak update ape. Alasan!
Me: Ye lah, tengah pikirlah ni.

3.29 petang.
Sejam berlalu, masih di depan desktop.

Adik: Dah siap? Nak baca boleh?
Me: Belum. Tak taip ape pun lagi.
Adik: Hah? Abistu sejam mengadap desktop ni buat ape?
Me: Buat bodoh.

Arrrghhhhhhh.. apsal aku takde idea nak update blog sekarang ni? Mana skill menggoreng, mengarang, merapu, meraban aku yang dulu? Tolong.. tolong.. Help me. Please help me.

Okay. Bye.

Buonanotte. Dormi bene. Sogni d’oro


Buonanotte. Dormi bene. Sogni d’oro

Have the sweetest of dreams, my sweetest of heart;
and know that even when away, we are never apart.

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I Think Of You


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Kahwin.. Kahwin.. Kahwin..


Semalam, berbual dengan mak. Makin nak cuti sekolah ni, makin banyak jemputan kawin. Jiran tepi rumah, jiran belakang rumah, jiran depan rumah dan ramai lagi lah. Ada yang anaknya kawin dan anak jugak yang mak bapak baru nak kawin lain. Huhu.

Aku, bila nak kawin? Entah. Selalu jugak orang tanya soalan ni tapi jawapan aku tetap sama, entah. Jodoh itu kan misteri. Mak selalu cakap, antara misteri hidup yang manusia takkan tahu, salah satunya ialah jodoh.

Baiklah, aku bukan nak bercakap pasal jodoh sebenarnya cuma, aku selalu berdoa, aku akan jumpa jodoh dan berkahwin pada tarikh yang memang aku sangat mahu. InsyaAllah, kalau diizinkan Allah, makbul-lah impian aku yang satu ni nanti. Amin.

Sebelum ni aku pernah cakap, aku suka tarikh 24/7 kan? Cuba tengok pada entry ini. Makanya, kalau boleh, aku nak dinikahkan pada 24/7/12. Maksudnya, aku akan sayangkan pasangan aku tu selama 24 jam sehari, 7 hari seminggu dan 12 bulan setahun. Setiap masa dan selagi nyawa dikandung badan. Uceh.

Aku ada post kat twitter pasal impian aku ni. Ada yang cakap sweet. Ada yang cakap gedik. Haha. Biarlah orang nak kata apa. Memasing mesti ada impian memasing dan impian kahwin aku ialah pada tarikhnya. Kalau nama nak berangan nak kawin dalam taman ke ape tu, itu bukanlah impian aku. Cuma yang pasti, aku nak kahwin dengan lelaki yang akan sayangkan aku sampai akhir hayat dan yang akan membimbing aku dunia dan akhirat. Amin.

Okay, tamat.

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Get Up!


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SMS Bikin Panas


hOw ar3 y0u? r!ndU nAk b3rbu@l dgN yOu.

Apa perasaan korang bila bangun pagi, tengah mamai-mamai, tengok henpon, dapat SMS camni? Ada rasa nak lempang orang tak?

Actually, SMS ni aku dah dapat lama dah tapi pagi tadi dapat lagi sekali. Content dia lain sikit dari yang ini tapi tetaplah hurufnya tunggang langgang camtu.

Fuh, memang boleh bikin panas tau. Perlu ke nak taip camtu? Kau banyak sangat masa menaip sms macam ni kan? Pernah rasa sup selipar tak?

Ah, sudahlah. Malas aku nak layan kau. Bai!

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Room For Rent


Medium Room For Rent
Jati 2 Apartment, USJ 1, Subang Jaya

Quiet and clean environment with good security. Housemate pun friendly. Sumpah tak tipu.

Nak tahu lebih lanjut, sila hubungi tuan rumah sendiri di 0107600171 – Wan.

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